I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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