Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
