also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
