He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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