I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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