I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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