the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
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I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
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