god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
