we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
