dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
