I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
