maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
NoShamevember. You game?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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