You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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