You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
