fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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