today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
