Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
