I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
