I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
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We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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