People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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