my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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