you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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