I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
