My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
you had me at cake vodka
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
