it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
