If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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