Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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