i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
