I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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