break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
