there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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