It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
