no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
