i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
