Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
