i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
it was like eating out sand paper
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
