Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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