you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
