Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
