# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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