I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
