I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
