no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
