he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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