yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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