please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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