just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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