I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
