what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
