Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
