You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
