Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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