I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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