Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
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And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
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I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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