i think i have herpe
just one?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
