let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
