i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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