Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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