eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
It was confusing and full of hummus
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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