there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
