Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
