i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize