Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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