I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
