Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
