I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
